My Path My Journey

I want to be your Soldier..

2011-04-05T10:01:00.002+08:00

I dedicated this song to my beloved Patrissa

Soldier

by James Baum

This one goes out to all the fellas out there.
If you got your eyes on the prize, you'll get your girl, man * (yeah!)

I wanna be your soldier
I wanna be your man
I wanna be there at your siiide
And you can be my only one
The only one for me
For all time..

I wanna touch your skin
Just gaze into those eyes
The way that he does
Each and every time
I wanna stroke your hair
And lay you down at night
And watch you as you sleep
Breathing air in my life

I, and I just can't take it anymore
Watchin him treat cha, treat cha,
Treat cha so bad
Oh why, must you let him do ya like he does
Can't chu see I love ya, love ya, love ya
Let me break it down for you tonight

I wanna be your soldier
I wanna be your man
I wanna be there at your siiide
And you can be my only one
The only one for me
For all time..

And I wanna hold you near
I just gota taste your lips
Whenever you are close to me
I'm losing my grip
I'm out of my mind
Each and every time
I watch ya give your love away

I, and I just can't take it anymore

Watchin him treat cha, treat cha,
Treat cha so bad
Oh why, must you let him do ya like he does
Can't chu see I love ya, love ya, love ya
Let me break it down for you tonight

I wanna be your soldier
I wanna be your man
I wanna be there at your siiide
And you can be my only one
The only one for me
For all time..

Girl, take some time and listen
*talk - I'm a be real *
You're the only one I'm missing
Girl, take some time and look at me
And I know you will find that you always did
Know, know, you know I love ya, love ya
And girl you know, know
You know I care for ya, care for ya
Girl, you know, know
You know you'll never be alone
Not on my watch, baby
You know you always got me

I wanna be your soldier
I wanna be your man
I wanna be there at your siiide
And you can be my only one
The only one for me
For all time..

I wanna be your soldier
I wanna be your man
I wanna be there at your siiide
And you can be my only one
The only one for me
For all time.

I just love this song... :)

Fitness journey..

2011-04-02T09:05:00.007+08:00

An awesome morning jog!!!

Fresh air

Cool ambient

The great Green view of the track

It was just awesome!!

Its not my best record yet. However, I just manage to complete 12 rounds on the 8th lane of the track within 30 minutes. I wish I could go further!! My heart said yes!!! But my knee said No!! My knees is not strong as before. Am I getting older? huhu...

My best record of cardio fitness is when I was in Matriculation in Labuan. 28rounds on the 8th lane of the track and I finish it within 45 minutes. That time I almost faint!! But I remember the satisfaction, knowing that your body is capable to reach that limit. That is approximately 12km jog.

A marathon is like 46km!!

I`m no way near that level!!

I will be super awesome. If I can jog for 46 km. That is my another milestone of my cardio fitness journey. May be a half marathon which is 21km first and that will be 52.5 round of the track stadium. That is still a very large number. Hopefully with strong will and endurance. I might be able to achieve it. :)

Lost Track!!! Need to get back.....

2011-03-31T15:44:00.005+08:00

The end of my second year in my Uni Life is reaching the end. Very soon, next 5 month I`ll be entering Third year of my Uni life and it`s getting tougher and tougher!!! For the time being, I manage to survive the hard and cold journey. Thank God for giving me the perseverance and strength to move on. Sadly, these few weeks of lent season. I have not given Him much attention.

Again I Lost Track of myself!!

Next week is already study week!! Yet I`m still busy with Shell Eco Marathon(SEM). Being the Top, indeed a very hard challenge for me. I need to cover 2 area which are the technical area and the management area. I`m just so glad that I have previous team member in my team. I can see their commitment to the team. I learn a lot from them especially the technical area. The technical knowledge are more towards the Mechanical and Electrical field. My mind is about chemical process. Again a drastic change for me. It is a satisfaction that you are able to learn something new. I prefer to gain knowledge this way compare gaining it in lecture hall. hehe..

Somehow, I do question myself regarding my leadership to the team.

I`m an empty cup, I want to fill it full.

I believe this a chance to train myself to be a leader.

See!!! lost track again!!

Again, I need to remind myself. I need to put more effort in my studies. My pointer is the on the edge of disappointment. Huhu.. I badly need to improve. Looking back in this semester. I`m like putting lots of effort as the Team Manager of SEM compare to my studies. I`m so disappointed with my academic project. All 3 projects; Integrated project, Lab Report Project and Math project. I have to say I did`t contribute much to the projects. I just glad I have such great member that help me with the project.

Again, I had load load load of assignments and tutorial to do. Sometime I forgot to do it. The question is very tough. It need serious application skill and strong fundamental concept!!! It`s hard for me to understand in lectures. Lecturer thought we are professor. Haiz.. What to do. This is not school anymore. Its University!!! We`re own our own!!! Sadly, I had to copy my friends work, which they copied from the seniors work. At the end of the day, what do I learn from copying.... hmm...

I must and will tackle these 4 tough heavy subjects with 4 credit hour each.

1. Organic Chemistry!!!

2. Statistic Mathematic for Engineering!!!

3. Phenomenon Transport!!

4. Reactor 1!!

Need to get back on track!!!!!

New Year, New Decade, New Beginning,New Resolution

2011-01-01T21:13:00.009+08:00

BLESSED AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!!

WELCOME TO 2011!!

Its A New Year, A New Decade, A New Beginning, A New Resolution. Well, its my first time write my resolution in my blog. I guess it`s consider new. Technically some are old ones but I new got the chance to jot in down. So here it is.

My Resolution

Desire to be closer to God and strengthen my FAITH, TRUST and LOVE towards HIM. I need to spend more time in prayer, bible reading, fasting and putting GOD first in my life. Its actually my life time resolution. Everything I have, its all from Him. I believe He got a great plan for me in life and He work His way that we cannot see. I just have to follow the flow of life He gave to me and see what happen.

MUST GET BETTER RESULT IN MY EXAM!!! This resolution is always the same every year. Sadly, all the time my grade always decease consistently. With hardwork, the proper discipline and with God`s will. I will get better grade.

Study and grade is very important. But is not everything!! Next thing is IMPROVEMENT OF MY SOFT SKILLS in term of leadership, communication, teamwork, management, ability to work alone and so on. This year, I took a big leap in this aspect. I joined the Shell Eco-Marathon Asia 2011 under the category of Prototype Car Electric Powered Hydrogen Fuel Cell. It is a very prestigious international competition. My advisor, Dr Edy and my team member believe a got the potential to lead the team. I`m the Team Manager of my University Team. I myself a bit reluctant taking this post. But it is once in a life time opportunity in my university and I can build up my skills. With God`s grace, I can do it.

The sweet red rose in my heart, Patrissa Hamson. It has almost been 2 years we`re together. The worst part of our relationship is that it is LDR (Long Distance Relationship). I`m studying in UKM in Bangi, Selangor. She`s studying in UTM in Sekudai,Johor. My home is in Miri. Whereas, her home in Bintulu. Last year, we only meet ONCE. This really sucks. However, I believe its possible to maintain this relationship but its damn tough. I still love her, care for her and I believe in her. This year, I want us to meet up more often and with God`s will. We will make it a better relationship then before.

This year, I will improve my physical fitness and get a great body shape. It not that easy task to do especially in UKM. Most or should I say all the cafeteria here serve terrible food. Its oily, fattening, not fresh and sometime the cafe cook the food from the previous day. My college cafeteria did that. I had to avoid all this unhealthy food. I plan to spend most of my time doing exercise such as jogging and some muscle work out and some sport activity like basketball, badminton, and swimming . I do work out in my University gym. I had to walk there for half an hour from my college. Well, its a warm up for me. Sometime I work out in my room too. Since I got my own dumbbell. I must improve my basketball skills. Which I`m really suck at it. My fundamental basketball skill is very shaky.

I have the passion of dancing. But I don`t think I deserve to call myself a dancer. I love to express my feeling through my body. In my previous post, it`s quite an old post. I mention that my genre of dance are Ngajat (traditional dance), hip-hop, popping, a bit of break dance and ballroom dance. This year I must to improve my dance skills. Furthermore, this will defiantly improve my physical fitness. Anyway, my university got popping class, breakdance class and ballroom class. I wish I could go for every class. Unfortunately, I think I only can go for one of the class. I need to reconsider my financial issue and time management. We will see how it goes.

I had a phobia of singing and it is not my thing. I want to make it as my thing. I want to learn how to sing properly. Whose my favorite singer?? She`s very close to me. My girlfriend is my favorite singer. She had a very sweet voice. God gave her the talent to sing, play organ and strum guitar. She is indeed an instrument of God. She told me, just practice, practice, practice. I will try. I also got a friend that help me with my singing. I cannot reveal his name. haha... If I still can`t sing. It`s his fault!!! haha...

I`m 50% Kenyah and 50% chinese. I`m a hybrid!! Unfortunately I can`t really speak both language very well. Thats really suck right. Can`t speak your mother tongue language. This year, I must master these language as much as possible. I know that learning a language is not from the book. It is a life long learning knowledge. It needs to be practice all the time. For Kenyah language, I can learn at home from my uncle and my dad. Unfortunately, there is no formal class for kenyah language. However, if I go back to my kampung, I believe I will learn more there. In my trip to Balaga, I practice a lot of my kenyah language. Well, at least I took the first step. Now for Chinese, ever since I step in UKM, 100% of all the student in this uni believe I am a chinese. I don`t blame them. I do really have a chinese look. Even a pure Kenyah will have a chinese look too. Most of my close friend are chinese and they know that I`m not so good in speaking chinese. What great that, they don`t mind teaching me. Every time I mingle with them I tend to catch up their speaking. UKM provide a formal Chinese Class as an elective subject. It`s not compulsory for my course but I decide to take that subject. I hope this class will boost my Chinese language.

Basically, these are all my 2011 resolution. With God`s grace and God`s will I will be able to achieve all these resolutions.

Christmas gift from him and her

2010-12-24T11:30:00.024+08:00

Christmas season is here!!

Blessed Christmas everyone!!

Christmas gift from her to him

Yesterday, I just receive present from my beloved girlfriend. I so happy and excited. She told me it is cookies. So I have to open it, if not it`s going to spoil. Hehe.. She so so sweet. She made the biscuit for me.

Her present!!!

She gave me a great Christian book, Christmas Card, and her tasty cookies

She share to me the newspaper cutting that post my achievement.

Thank you Dear

Engineering Student Crowned 'Balan Nyanding' at festival

They mention I`m a mechanical engineer?? haha..

I`m a Chemical Engineer and always a chemical engineer.

Book titled Captured by the Grace by Dr. David Jeremiah

Her delicious cookies!!!!!

Thanks to my dear and her mom!!

Christmas Gift from him to her

First of all, I would like to thank my friend Issac and Monica from UNITEN for company me to search and explore the Mid valley for the perfect Christmas gift for my beloved Patrissa. It took me the whole day in Mid Valley. 9 am to 9 pm to find the right gift. Issac bought a beautiful gift for his special someone too. Same goes to Monica, she bought a nice shirt from TOPMEN for her special friend too. Seriously, it`s a nice shirt. I also want!! Next time it`s my turn!!

Anyway, after looking around Mid Valley and in The Garden. Finally I found the treasure I was searching for. Here it is

Soft cashmere shawl

Butterfly shape necklace with ear rings

A letter and a Christmas Card

The butter fly shape necklace with ear ring. =)

Soft Cashmere Shawl to keep her warm

Christmas Card for her

The content??

CONFIDENTIAL!!

I believe God had already gave me the perfect present. My beloved family, all my friends, my beloved girlfriend, Patrissa and the greatest gift of all these is Him one only beloved son Jesus Christ.

His birthday in tomorrow. Thank you Almighty Father for showing us your unselfish Love for your creation.

The Nativity

The Greatest gift of God to Mankind

My Holiday in Asap, Belaga

2010-12-19T22:50:00.013+08:00

Next thing on my list during my holiday was my journey to Asap, Belaga in conjunction of Kenyah Festival 2011 organized by Persatuan Kebangsaan Kenyah Sarawak(PKKS).

Congrats to PKKS for organizing a successful Kenyah Festival 2010

It was on 3Dec until 5 Dec. My whole family went for the festival with my cousin Niko and John. It was a long journey there about 5 hours drive from Miri to Asap Belaga. We take turn to drive, my father, my mother, my bro Matthias and I.

The road was fine until we turn into a junction where almost reaching Bintulu. Further in 50 km, the road is like hell. Holes here and there.. the road not even... lots of big bumps.. The road was damage my tree logging truck carrying tonnes of logs.

Taken from the Star

Lucky we`re using 4 wheel Drive car. One of my uncle use Proton Saga! His car got serious damage that time. Well, not that bad la. Just a flat tire. hehe.. Anyway, while we were driving. I saw this sign. You call this Jalan Persekutuan?? LOL... Sarawak Goverment you really did a hell of a job.

ADUAN KEROSAKAN?

I believe many people called already..haha..

Moving on, during out journey there. It was raining very heavily and extremely dark. We reached there around 12am. We stayed in one of the Long House, Uma Kulit. Uma means House. There are total of 21 Long Houses here, more to a village la. hehe..

We slept at he living room. It was already damn cool!! Natural fresh air cond!!

The Veranda of the Uma Kulit. Thats my sister, Mary =)

The elders people sit and talk.

There are a lot of activity organized in the Kenyah Festival. Lots of people come and participate in the event. There are coloring competition, Ngajat competition, Datun Julut competition, mengeleput competition(blow pipe competition), Sape competition, Lan e competition, Arm wrestling competition, and many more. Here are some pictures

My baby sister joined the coloring contest

Cute innocent face!!!

Putting the most bead in a tread with in the time given

Arm Wrestling Competition

Datun Julut

Sape competition

Carving competition

Ladies Ngajat Competition

There are too many pictures. It turns out to be a very big event. About 60,000 orang ulu around Sawarak came to this festival. I wish I could put more picture. Most of the picture are posted in my Facebook page. hehe...

In previous Kenyah Festival, I join Ngajat competition and Balan Nyanding. What is Balan Nyanding? It mean Handsome Worrior. lol.. Thats what they say la. hehe.. i`m not really good in in my kenyah language. Speaking of kenyah language, I do really need to brush up my Kenyah speaking. Everyone speak kenyah to me. huhu.. I understand a little bit la. Surprisingly there is also dialect in kenyah language. It`s so different!! Kenyah Badeng, Kenyah Belaga, Kenyah Baram, and more. It is always depend on the location of the village. So I do really need to master my mother tongue. I got 2!! Chinese and Kenyah!!

Anyway, back to the Ngajat competition and Balan Nyanding. Last year I got fifth place in Ngajat competition. This year, I got third!!!! Praise the Lord!! I never expect I would win that competition. The festival is organized near by all the Balaga area. They are very very strong and proud in their culture. I`m sure Ngajat Dance is one of their pride and they are damn good in it. And I got third out of 30 participant!! I`m the youngest, since it is the senior category!! hehehe.. Thanks God for the prize.

The one who got first in the competition is damn damn good. He can ngajat so low and turn very smooth. He has a very strong leg and soft hand. wow.. I can see is long way for me to reach that level. He is indeed a pure Kenyah. huhu.. I forgotten to get his name. But I never forget his face and especially his dance step.

The previous Balan Nyanding competition, I got third. This time with God`s grace, I was given the title Balan Nyanding!! I won!! The feeling was great. I thanks God for the Ngajat talent that He gave to me. I did`t do it alone. I got help from my family. My cousin, Niko he use his artistic skill to draw tattoo on me. My brother, Matthias and Michael help me with the dressing. My sister, Melissa help me to take care my stuffs and being the camera girl. Here are some of the picture.

Niko drawing tattoo..look at his focus...

His best art work. I love it!!

The catwalk, technically we Ngajat for our catwalk. Kenyah style

Some hunting action

The winner of Bungan Lisu and Balan Nyanding!!

Being popular for a night. =)

My great daddy and my beloved mummy

With the winner of Bungan Lisu, Emily

My family that support me. Got more actually, they just tired in the car sleeping.

The little ones. =)

My trophies.

Tall: Balan Nyanding Chanpion

Short: Third Place Senior Ngajat competition

It was really good getting involve in the festival. I feel that is the place I belong, where I can see my true culture and tradition is preserve. I really hope that the young people continue to preserve the culture and the tradition. Do not let time consume it. It is the origin of your people and it is who and what you are. PKKS did a very great job in preserving the Kenyah culture and also promoting it to the world.

Congrats once again to PKKS for organizing a successful Kenyah Festival.

This is who I am. I`m proud to be a Kenyah

My Holiday and My Cousin Wedding

2010-12-16T11:17:00.013+08:00

Today is already 16 Dec!! My class begin on the 20 Dec!! Just a blink of an eye. My holiday is going to end very soon. Even though it`s holiday I was quite busy with some occasion at my hometown.

As you can see from my previous post, I was busy being the chef, house maid, driver and baby sitter. Then another occasion came up. hehe..

26 November 2010!!

My cousin is getting married!! =)

Congratulation to Jacinta and Raphael

MAY GOD BLESS BOTH OF YOU ALWAYS

One week before the wedding I help them out with their wedding preparation. Well, my brother Matthias help too. Both of us lo. hehe.. Since my dad got a new pick up car,Hilux my bro and I carry lots of stuffs for the wedding here and there. From her house to the church. From the church to the hotel. From the hotel to the house again. Round and round and round again. Most of the time more to heavy duty task. We carried 100++ chairs, tables, carpet, flower arcs, decoration, presents, and beer too. hehe.. We also help around in her house with the decoration and stuffs.

Its amazing where two family from different background come together to make the wedding a success. Jacinta from Kenyah family from Long Palai and Raphael from Iban family from Konawit. Wow 1 Malaysia. hehe.. The ladies did the cooking and decoration. The man did the BBQ and some heavy decoration. Yea, I help them out too.

What is unique in a Kenyah Wedding. We always keep our tradition alive. Well, what left of it. Unfortunately our culture is dying slowing. It`s quite sad to hear that. Anyway, the Kenyah have this adat called Adat Pepeto. Technically, it mean wedding. In kenyah la. hehhe.. I also not really sure about this. hehe.. Man I`m a bad kenyah guy. huhu.. Here are some pictures

Jacinta`s Family

(Left to Right) Dr. Franklin, Christoper, Aunty Cecelia, Jacinta, Raphael, Uncle Richard and Dr. Neilson

My mom, my dad, little brother Matthew and Me

Kenyah Dowry given to the bride

Each of these things have it`s own meaning that related to life.

Part of the kenyah wedding. I forgot the name what they are holding already. huhu..

8 Saong is put on the bride head symbolize protection bad stuff.

The wedding dinner

The handsome King and lovely Queen for a Day

I apologize for my knowledge in Kenyah wedding is very low. I know how it goes but I don`t know the meaning of it. hehe... May be when is my turn to get married only I know.. Haha.. Well that is still long way to go, another milestone of my life.

Once again Congratulation to them.

Must update Blog!!!!! Its HOLIDAY!!!! FAMILY!!!!

2010-11-23T00:55:00.009+08:00

Hey guys,

It has been 5 months, since I update my blog. I need to clean up my blog page, lots of dusts and cob web here and there. I also kena scolded by my jie jie to update my blog. huhu.. so bad..

Well, is my fault tho, I`m just being lazy to update my blog. I always keep finding excuses from updating my blog. I really need to commit myself to his blog or else kena scold again. haha..

Anyway, I`m having my semester break now. I`m so so happy that I can meet my family again!! hehe.. it has been almost 1 year!! hehe... so great to meet them.

My family picture!! This was 3 years ago..

As usual, at home I`ll be working. My parents and family are my employer.

Here are the list of my job:

1. Chef

2. Driver

3. House Maid

4. Baby sitter

Is the same job every time I came back home. The same routine every day. My salary?? hmm... doing it for the love of my family. I cook meals for them. Simple one, as long they do not have to be send to the hospital. I drive my mom and dad around. They have been busy working, so the only time that they can have their rest are in the car. hehe.. Being a house maid?? hmm.. household chores, folding clothes, sweeping the floor, wash the cars and etc... baby sitter?? yep my baby sis. Little Mary, she getting more naughty each day. Is cute to see her tho.. very innocent. I have to watch over her. I have make sure she sleep. Every weekday, I send her to school. hmm.. always like to jump around.. haha...

Believe it or not she finish the whole Wet Mee Goreng by herself!!!

Again as usual, my parents are busy with their work. My dad have to take care of the SPM examination in school and being organizer of a project. My mom too, busy with her work in school. Most people think teacher`s holiday are the same as the student. Well, they are dead wrong. They also do the behind the scene work in school and also at home which most of the student did not see.

In a way, it`s a blessing for me. I`m being the eldest of the family. It give me a chance to brush up my cooking skills, driving skill, house maid skills?? haha... So I`m like being the second parent in the family. It`s tough!! Handle all this task. I wonder how my mom and dad did it? With all the commitment and taking care of us 6 kids. wow... Thank God for Them!!!!

Blessed Father`s Day!!!

2010-06-20T15:14:00.004+08:00

It has been 20 years. First time in my life I can`t celebrate Father`s Day with my dad. Today, I went to mass in Church of Holy Family Kajang at 9 am alone. Sometime, I prefer to go to mass alone. I can focus my mind, my heart, and my soul with the Lord more. No one there to distract me. Hmm... Before the mass, I was trying to call my dad in Miri. It was ringing but he did`t pick it up. I guess he went to mass too.

It was a community mass. It is a mass that mark the end of the Year of the Priest in Kajang. According to the priest, Father William Michael. In Rome, the year of the priest ended in 11 Jun 2010. Well to me is just like normal mass. Until the end of the mass. Father call all the father to come forward. That is the time something trigger in me. Father ask all the other people to put up their hand to bless all the fathers. My dad is not there. I close my eyes, thinking of my dad in Miri. I was in tears. Look back at my dad smiling at me and holding me in my arm. He was always there every time I was down. Supporting me all the way even though I failed him a few times.

Thanks Dad for being always there!!!

After mass, I called him. I wished my dad Blessed Father`s Day. He was very happy. As usual, he will give me advice to keep on studying and be successful in Life. I believe that is my dad only wish from their children. He wants his children to be successful like him. For me being the eldest in the family. I am a model for my brothers and sisters.

Thank You Almighty Father for giving me an

Awesome Father to mould me. Amen

"The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delight in him"

Proverbs 23.24

-myvy-

What can money do or not do??

2010-06-18T11:29:00.005+08:00

I was reading the New Straits Times yesterday. Then I came across an article "Your Relationship with Money"

They mention on what can money do or not do. I find it is very interesting. It states:

Money can but a House,but not a Home

Money can buy a Bed, but not Sleep

Money can buy a Clock, but not Time

Money can buy you a Book,but not Knowledge

Money can buy you a Position, but not Respect

Money can buy you Medicine, but not Health

Money can buy you Blood, but not Life

Money can buy you Religion, but not Faith

-myvy-

Results......=(

2010-06-07T07:58:00.003+08:00

I finished first year uni life ended. Few days ago I gotten my result. I expect the worst. Indeed it is was so bad. In fact it is the worst result in my life. huhu... My result got below 3.00.. =(sigh...

But I thank God that my average result for my first year still above 3.00. Compare to all my friends. I got the lowest result. Should I compare myself with my other friends? They are the smart type student. Compare to me I`m more to hardworking type. sigh... why I can`t be smart like them. I very slow in understanding concept and calculation. I need to work smarter. I have to say I really hate exam. I prefer to do projects and do presentation. I`m not that good in presentation la. I`m still learning to be good in presentation. hmm...

Reflecting what I did in my first year. I notice I like to delay my tutorial and assignment to the last minute. At the end I copied my friends tutorial. I did promise myself to read back the tutorial I that I copied. BUT I DID`T!! I just Ignore it. This sucks. I cannot do this anymore. I need to change.

Then, somehow I like to skip class and asking my friend to sign my attendance.This is another major error. I should not do that. Skipping class and being lazy. As a student, I must hold a responsibility going to class and finish my assignment honestly. sigh... this is the effect of doing all these wrong doing.

I wonder how God see me this way?? Indeed He punish me with this result. I need to change. huhu... forgive me God I`ll be good next time.

-myvy-

BirthDay to my Sweet Heart... =)

2010-05-23T00:41:00.025+08:00

Marchell Patrissa
23 May

BLESSED BIRTHDAY

Handmade Birthday Card filled with our sweet moment

My Rose at Night

Midnight,

A memorable Day approached,

Resting under a blanket of Stars,

It was a Cold Night,

A star specially appeared.

More it shine, more it sparkle,

A sight that will never fade,

Reaching it was my only wish,

Counting days and night,

Heart of my bleeding,

Enlightenment is what I need,

Love is the one only cure,

Love that only given by Her,

Pledge, I carve in my Heart,

A vow I will make,

To you dear, I commit myself,

Revealing the reason I live,

In your sparkling eyes, I was melted,

Seeing you, moon in my night,

Seeing you, stars in my sky,

A voice to my song.

Happy Birthday,Blessed Birthday,

A day to remember, A day I`m bonded to.

My dear, so glad that you were born,

Seeing my dear was a cute baby girl,

One day, grown up together facing the Altar,

Night will never be cold again.

My Rose at Night

Picture of us for her to remember =)

Key Chain that connect us =)

All her Birthday Gift with 100 Hearts

Sweet Heart Blessed 20th Birthday!!

May The Great Lord continue to shower His Great Blessing on You.

"May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you."
1 Thessalonians 3:12

"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago."

Ephesians 2:10

-myvy-

Traditional Going Modern

2010-05-16T21:56:00.006+08:00

I begin my interest in dancing from my cultural traditional dance, Ngajat as shown in my previous post, "My Path to Dancing..." Years to come I decided to widen my talent in dancing by going modern. I am currently learning Hip-Hop and Popping. I also want to learn Breakdance. But I need to burn most of my stubborn fats!!!! So hard la... So this third sem I planned to burn this FATS!!! haha... I hope it turn out ok... hmm..

Hip-Hop and Popping

Breakdance

Anyway, I don`t really have a mentor for Popping compared to Ngajat. I got my dad to teach me. So, my only mentor, YOUTUBE!!! haha..so lame. I begin this journey, when I was in form 5. That was about 3 years ago. Until now, still not that good and not so expert. But still, I enjoy it. hehe..Luckily in UKM I meet some good dancer. I had learnt a lot from them.

Hmm.. Why I like Popping?? hmm... the first time I saw popping. I immediately fall in love with it. It so unreal, sometime I don`t think that the dancer are human. Their body coordination and flexibility. I never expect our human body able to perform such crazy move. The arm waves, body waves, the flexibility and popping effect at every joint of the body. wow...They are so inhuman.

I WANT TO MOVE LIKE THEM!!!

These are my favourite Poppers

PHILLIP CHBEEB a.k.a PAC MAN

ROBERT MURAINE a.k.a MR. FANTASTIC

WESLEY AUSTIN a.k.a POPPIN JOHN

NAM HYUN JOON a.k.a POPPIN HYUN JOON

There many more popping dancers out there. This 4 are my favourite popper. I wish I could dance like them. The most important point is I enjoy what I do and I will not stop until I`m really good in it.

But between Ngajat and Popping, I will still love Ngajat more. This dance show my true identity and it is my flesh and blood. I will pass down this dance to my children like what my father did to me. I believe, it is one of the most unique dance in the world. Not many people know the beautiful dance. Sadly, this traditional dance is dying among the youngsters. No one is interested to learn this dance. huhu.. I want to change this trend by preserving this culture and promote this dance. One day I will perform Ngajat internationally so the world could see the beauty of this dance. May be in So You Think You Can Dance??!! As an invited guest?? hahaha... one day.. For the time being, it is still only a dream.

Marvin in full Kenyah Head Hunter Worrier Armour

-myvy-

Like A Rose..

2010-05-14T10:18:00.006+08:00

AND AS I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES

I SEE AN ANGEL IN DISGUISE

SENT FROM GOD ABOVE

FOR ME TO LOVE

TO HOLD AND IDOLISE

AND AS I HOLD YOUR BODY NEAR

I'LL SEE THIS MONTH THROUGH TO A YEAR

AND THEN FOREVER ON

TIL LIFE IS GONE

I'LL KEEP YOUR LOVING NEAR

AND NOW I'VE FINALLY FOUND MY WAY

TO LEAD ME DOWN THIS LONELY ROAD

ALL I HAVE TO DO

IS FOLLOW YOU

TO LIGHTEN OFF MY LOAD

YOU TREAT ME LIKE A ROSE

YOU GIVE ME ROOM TO GROW

YOU SHONE THE LIGHT OF LOVE ON ME

AND GAVE ME AIR SO I CAN BREATHE

YOU OPEN DOORS THAT CLOSE

IN A WORLD WHERE ANYTHING GOES

YOU GIVE ME STRENGTH SO I STAND TALL

JUST LIKE A ROSE

AND WHEN I FEEL LIKE HOPE IS GONE

YOU GIVE ME STRENGTH TO CARRY ON

EACH TIME I LOOK AT YOU

THERE'S SOMETHING NEW

TO KEEP OUR LOVING STRONG

I HEAR YOU WHISPER IN MY EAR

ALL OF THE WORDS I LONG TO HEAR

OF HOW YOU'LL ALWAYS BE

HERE NEXT TO ME

TO WIPE AWAY MY TEARS

AND NOW I'VE FINALLY FOUND MY WAY

TO LEAD ME DOWN THIS LONELY ROAD

ALL I HAVE TO DO

IS FOLLOW YOU

TO LIGHTEN OFF MY LOAD

YOU TREAT ME LIKE A ROSE

YOU GIVE ME ROOM TO GROW

YOU SHONE THE LIGHT OF LOVE ON ME

AND GAVE ME AIR SO I CAN BREATHE

YOU OPENED DOORS I CLOSED

IN A WORLD WHERE ANYTHING GOES

YOU GIVE ME STRENGTH SO I STAND TALL

WITHIN THIS BED OF EARTH

JUST LIKE A ROSE

AND THOUGH THE SEASONS CHANGE

OUR LOVE REMAINS THE SAME

YOU FACE THE THUNDER

WHEN THE SUNSHINE TURNS TO RAIN

JUST LIKE A ROSE

YOU TREAT ME LIKE A ROSE

YOU GIVE ME ROOM TO GROW

YOU SHONE THE LIGHT OF LOVE ON ME

AND GAVE ME AIR SO I CAN BREATHE

YOU OPENED DOORS I CLOSED

IN A WORLD WHERE ANYTHING GOES

YOU GIVE ME STRENGTH SO I STAND TALL

WITHIN THIS BED OF EARTH

JUST LIKE A ROSE

YOU GIVE ME STRENGTH SO I STAND TALL

WITHIN THIS BED OF EARTH

JUST LIKE A ROSE

By A1

Love you always dear...

-myvy-

My Path to Dancing...

2010-05-13T00:15:00.009+08:00

Last time, I admired people who are really good in art such as singing, musical instrument, drawing and dancing. I want to master at least one of them. Of course, is good to master more of them. I tried singing, it so embarrassing. My voice is so so flat. I tried guitar. I can played a bit, I mean the major chord only. But somehow I do not feel the satisfaction. Hm.. Drawing?? Not good at all. But I still have to learn drawing since I am currently studying Chemical Engineering. Then I tried dancing. You know what I was really sucks at it. But I feel the satisfaction and I enjoyed it. So, I just go on. Not showing myself yet la. hahaha,,, embarrassing ma...

I started off dancing my cultural traditional dance, Ngajat. I had seen my dad and my other relatives dance Ngajat during dinner and celebration like Christmas or Gawai. Before this, most of the time I will hide myself. Why?? I was very scared. My father always asked me to dance. That time I do not know how to dance. I had enough of running away, so I decided to learn it. My dad send me to Ngajat lesson. My teacher, Uncle Solomon taught me the basic step. I enjoyed the lesson very much. In that one month I lost 10KG!!! From 95kg to 85 kg.. wow.. I was shocked. After 1 month I stop learning because Uncle Solomon was busy with some other performance. He said I pick up the steps very fast. hehehe... My next mentor in my one and only, My father. During the holiday, he finally taught me some skills. He`s the best Ngajat dancer in know!!! hehe... During dinner celebration I never ran away and hide myself again. Instead I want to dance!!! Anyway, I was impressed with my uncles' Ngajat dance. So I observed and pick up some of their skills.

Ngajat

Ever since then, I begin to perform in my secondary school for Teacher`s Day and welcoming VIP. I also perform during function dinner and welcoming VIP such as YB Datuk Peter Chin, YB Datuk Lee Kim Shin, YB Datuk Jacob, Dato Seri Hishammuddin and few more la. I forgotten already. The best part is, I was paid!!! One performance is about RM 100 sometime RM150. Well, not bad la. At least something. hehe.. The highest achievement I had achieved is performing in Hong Kong. Is an Integration between School Programme. I represented my school, SMK St. Columba combine with SMK St. Joseph for International World Marching Band Competition. I perform my solo cultural dance, Ngajat and the St. Joseph with their Marching Band. Overall, we won Gold and best performance for that Competition. Praise the Lord!!! Well, more credit to St. Joseph Marching Band. I have seen they practice very very hard and produced wonderful music and a unit.

Holding Malaysia Flag with Pride in Hong Kong

I thank God for giving me this great and unexpected talent. I hope to improve my skill in time to come. I pray that I will master more talent. Amen

I may not good in dancing ,but because of the satisfaction and the passion. I never gave up.

I had improved and get better each time

-myvy-

It has Been A While........

2010-05-10T20:53:00.006+08:00

Sometime I just being lazy to update my blog. I can see lots of cobwebs everywhere and I better start cleaning it up. lol.. so Lame... Anyway, I had just finish my first year life in UKM. Wow.. thats quite fast. Now I`m doing my short Semester a.k.a Third Semester. I`m currently taking only 2 subjects which are Introduction To Chemical and Biochemical Engineering and Emotional Management. It has been around 8 days since my semester start. Is kinda bored or may be I`m just being lazy waiting for time to pass. haha... I got 2 major project to settle. I have to force myself to start even though the due date still long way to go. hehe....

Enough about study, my room is just ok ok only. Good enough for an average student like me to live in. The cupboard already spoiled but still can be used. The bed and table are just nice. lol... By the way, I`m staying alone aka no roommate. hehe... well pro and cons la... The worst part of this room is NO MOSQUITOES NETTING. Haiya... at night I donated lots of blood to them. I know la, my blood type is O, a universal donor. hmm.. I had to mosquitoes repellent to tackle this problem. Anyway, I love being in fully control of my room.haha..

Since I got so much time this short Sem. I had planed to do some self improvement.

Improvement List

Closer to God

Physical Fitness

Dance

Basketball

More Blogging

-myvy-

Chair of Saint Peter (22 February 2010)

2010-02-23T00:19:00.003+08:00

My prayer for tonight

Lord Jesus, I profess and believe that you are the Christ,

the Son of the Living God.

You are my Lord and my Savior.

Make my Faith strong like Peter`s and give me boldness to speak of you to others that they may come to know you personally as Lord and Savior and grow in the knowledge of your love.

Amen

Chinese New Year... Valentine,,, Anniversary

2010-02-14T22:33:00.001+08:00

14 February

CHINESE NEW YEAR

VALENTINE DAY

FIRST ANNIVERSARY

Today is a very special day. Celebrating 3 events in one day?? Chinese New Year, Valentine Day, and our 1st year Anniversary being in Relationship. wow... Unfortunately, I cannot celebrate all this events in one day. I have to strike out Valentine Day and our Anniversary. Well, family come first. I`m going to Penang to celebrate CNY there. All my family from Miri is coming!!! Missing them so so much. I thanks God for giving them the opportunity to come to Penang. Going to receive lots of Ang Pausss.... I guess so... hahaha..... money money.... I actually want to meet my grandpa. It has been a long time I have`t meet him. He still suffered from stroke. But I heard he is getting better. hmm... that`s good news. I`ll always pray for his recovery.

Anyway, kinda sad too. Having a distance relationship is indeed tough. But we made it for 1 year. 14 February, a special day where we begin our relationship, my dear Patrissa and I. She is studying in UTM, Johor. While I`m here studying in UKM, Bangi. So, very very seldom we meet.sigh... missing her so much lately. Many people tell me that it is not easy to maintain a distance relationship and told me stories that people broke up because of it. I`m going to prove you all wrong. We can maintain a distance relationship. We keep holding on facing through all the storm in life. Of course we cannot do this alone. We always pray to God to keep us together. I thank God for our wonderful blessing that He pour to us within this one year. I`ll pray that God continue to bless us in years to come.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!

BLESSED VALENTINE DAY!!!

...BLESSED ANNIVERSARY DEAR...

Teen NO More.

2010-02-06T12:58:00.004+08:00

What can go up but never come down?

AGE!!!!

6 February is here.

My 20th years Anniversary of Life. I thanks God for giving me life and watching over me for 20 years. Although many time I fail Him in my life, He never leave me a side. He keep stretching His hand to reach out mine. I`m very grateful for my wonderful parents. Who watch over me, care for me, mold me for who I am today.

Reflecting back all my memories, facing so much challenges, remembering so much mile stones in life. All the ups and downs. I thanks God for this sweet memory. Showing His infinite love for me. However, I had fail many time. Unable to give back His love back to Him. I`m just His small creation.

Anyway, at 12 midnight. My dear Pat wished me Happy Birthday, the first one who wished me. However, she facing some unfortunate trial, so she`s not in a good mood. But, I`m very happy for her wish. Even thought under that condition, she still wished me happy birthday. Thank you dear. I comfort her and help her facing her unfortunate trial. Missing her so much. I wish I could celebrate my birthday with her. huhu.. Last 2 week, she already sent a present for me. Thanks for the present dear. You`re so sweet. =) She was excited, so she sent it early. hehe.. hm.... My favorite part of the present is her letter she wrote. It was so meaningful. Almost got tears running down my cheek. sigh.. Thank God for her in my life. I hope we can wake up from our dream together. =)

For the first time I`m not celebrating my birthday with family, we usually have prayer, sing song and have dinner. I used to thought is quite boring. sigh... Somehow, I can`t deny it. I miss it now. Missing my family alot. huhu.... Here, in UKM I do have my second family. Just now Mummy Pat, Uncle Mark, Uncle Daniel and my Big Sis Grace celebrate birthday with me. Is a small Secret Recipe cake. White chocolate with nuts. hehe.... well is one slice. But, I so so grateful having them in my life here in UKM. Thank the Lord for giving them to me. I was really a surprise. haha... Grace bring me away to watch the fire-work. Later when I went back to the table. There it is, my cake. It was so touching. A bit the shy shy... hahaha.... I`m very happy and thankful... Thanks you Mummy Pat, Uncle Mark, Uncle Daniel and Sis Grace. You guys make me feel like home. -Peace-

Once again I thank God for watching over me for 20 years and giving me so much. Thank Our Lord Jesus for always reaching out to me. And the Holy Spirit for guiding me.

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY WISHES.......

-myvy-

Very Afraid.....

2010-01-13T22:58:00.003+08:00

Hey, it has been awhile. Getting lazy to blog this few days. May be due to my piling up assignment. Anyway, I was thinking back my previous semester. Reflecting what I did. Yea.. I study study and study and do some other stuffs. Sadly I was quite disappointed with my pointer. sigh... what to do have to move on. No used crying about it. I want to get a better result this semester 2. So I was thinking is that the only thing I want. Getting better results. How about other aspect? Other skills? All I gain through out my Uni life last semester, that I can really feel is like only study. Sadly, I have to admit my spiritual being is dieing in me. Somehow I feel like I lost touch with Him. Everytime I decided to pray. There always something came up. Then I`ll end up tired then my plan to pray just gone. Who to blame? Is me... Here in UKM I can`t really find a way to be close to Him. Compared to my previous college in Labuan. We have fellowship gathering every Friday night. And it is very spiritual. I felt His presences there countless time. I miss that wonderful moment. Here in UKM, I`m drifting away. Yes I do say short prayer. But.... Is just not enough. My time table here very packed. I can`t really to find time to be with Him. The more I drifting apart from Him, the more I sin. I really need to change. I have not even went for confession for few months already. Somehow, I`m like trying to avoid Him. I`m scared after what I did. Ignoring Him and sin against Him. After what He show and did to me personally. When I want to pray I felt like I`m a hypocrite. I felt there is no use praying. I`m even afraid to to involve in praise and worship. The more I get involve with the Lord, the more pain I feel. Yes, I do go to church every Sunday. Somehow, I don`t feel his presence in Church anymore. Is like I force myself to go to church. Compared to last time, going to Mass is like my favorite thing. Now, I don`t even care.

Now I`m a lost sheep again.....

-Myvy-

2010 is here....

2010-01-06T14:12:00.005+08:00

Wow.... Is 2010!! My first post for 2010. Time past by so damn fast. It seem like yesterday I entered UKM studying in first semester. Now 2010, battling in second semester. This is the first week of 2010. And I`m facing a lot already. Especially in my studies. I`m taking 25 units for this second semester with 7 subjects. I`m battling against Squash, Engineering Graphic, Thermodynamic, Static Mechanic, Electrical Engineering, Work Place Communication 1 and Engineering Mathematic Calculus. Facing 5 major subjects this semester!! And I`m still only in my first year. I wonder what to expect in second year and years to come. It is indeed a great challenge for me. Even my father was very very shock to learn that I`m taking 25 units.

May be UKM want to train us to handle tasks in a very stress condition. I know I can do it. But I really need to put great effort in my studies. Cannot play play around anymore. Need to get better pointer!!!

Anyway, thinking back 2009. I`m really grateful and thank God for watching over me in 2009. Giving me so much great memory. The ups and downs in my life. Giving me strength and perseverance to moving on. Giving me so much challenges. My life in Labuan Matriculation College, where my relationship with You become closer. Calling me in Catholic Commitee, serving the Lord and leading the people there. Facing the trials, spiritually, mentally, physically and intellectually. Thank God for giving me my dear Patrissa to me. It is indeed a wonderful moment when I so called "propose" to her on the 14 February 2009. A mile stone I will never forget in my teenage life. I hope God continue to bless our relationship and keep us strong even we`re far apart. Not forgetting my old friends in H2T13. My close friends Dimitri, Bryan, Prins, Frankie, Ah Y, Admund, Jasper,and Russel. The Catholic Commitee, Ivy, Alan, Oday, Audrey, Grace, Admund, Alex, Matthias, Cecelia, Alister, Marissa, Kintut, and Bob. There`s many more actually. Countless of them. Thank You God for them.

Around June, my grandfather got stroke. All my uncles and aunties can`t really take care of him due to their work. As the first grandson, I helped to take care of him. I was very sad with his condition. He cannot do simple stuff in life like eating, bathing, walking, talking and changing his clothes. I had to guide him all the way. Is a blessing to me, I become closer to my grandfather. All this while there was a gap between us. Well, because of distances. I very seldom come back to Penang and knowing my grandfather. However I can`t stay long with him. I have to move on to persue my studies in UKM. I got my result very late. Being a second intake student due to my rejection by the universities. haiya.....

Now, I`m here studying in UKM taking Chemical Engineering. My first impression, the uni looks quite old. lol.... But don`t judge a book by his cover. So far until now, I had found that UKM is a nice place to study. The Engineering Faculty here is very established and one of the oldest. In other words, very experienced faculty compared to other universities in Malaysia. Here a met a great number of great friends. Especially, my course mates. My dai lou, Xu Quan and my KP geng. They are so funny and each have their own character. They are also very good in their studies. hm... thank God for them. Not forgetting the CSSUKM here, they were like another family here. I had a great time with them. I joined the fellowship, the breakfast sell and went to ICG in Johor. I learn a lot of stuff in ICG. It gave me another angle as a Catholic student and how to contribute to the community. Somehow, I`m still not ready. I`m still worried of my studies. huhu...... One of the toughest course in UKM. Thank God I make it through in semester 1. However, quite disappointed with my result. Something must change in semester 2. With God`s help I will perform my very best.

This year, for the first time I did`t spend my Christmas with my family due to class start so early. My class started in 21 Disember !!! sigh.... Well, as I wrote in my previous post. I spent my Christmas in Johor, Skudai with my dear Patrissa. I have been missing her so so much. huhu....

There, I met new friends from the GIFTers. They were so nice and welcome me openly. I had a wonderful time there. Spending time with her and her friends. This is indeed my best Christmas gift given to me. Thank You Lord.

During new year eve, I went to mass with Cindy a.k.a my cousin. I was very surprised to find out that I got a family in UKM. Specifically in my own faculty. I wanted to go out with her because I wanted to know her better. Somehow, I very very seldom meet her in Faculty. Most of the time she was busy. Somehow I felt there is a gap between us. So, I was trying to remove that invisible gap. hehe... I had a good time with her. After the new year mass, we had a very late dinner in Mc D. lol..... we talk a lot and catch up with each other. Get to know her family and stuffs. Is great to know I got family with me in UKM.

Guess I stop here. Once again, Thank You Lord for 2009. I hope the Lord will give me a great time in 2010.

-Myvy-

My Christmas Holiday And My Greatest Gift...II

2009-12-31T17:41:00.010+08:00

Here are some more pictures of my Christmas in Johor. I just got it from Patrissa. Thanks dear. Just want to share it. Peace... =)

Me and my Dear..

With the GIFTers

The Gifters were great =)

...Peace...

Playing Musical Chair..

Playing Charade..

Still Charades... =)

hmm....

Missing her so much....

-Myvy-

My Christmas Holiday.. And My Greatest Gift...

2009-12-27T22:45:00.019+08:00

After 18 years, until now.... for the first time I did not spend time with my family. sigh.... My class start earlier which is on 21 December. My dad do not want me to miss class. I had no choice but listen to him. I came back to UKM on 20 Dec. Huhu... However, it was a blessing in disguise. I celebrated my Christmas in Johor, Skudai with my friends and with my dear Patrissa. I arrived there in the evening of Christmas Eve. It was great and wonderful there. It has been a very long time I have not meet her. I miss her so much. I met some of her friends and seniors most of the are the from GIFT (Growing In Faith Together). They were very nice and welcome me like a brother. I thanked God for giving me such great friends there. We went for mass at 10 pm. She was playing keyboard for the choir. I am proud to see her play. I met Father Jojo. A priest from Sabah. He gave me a warm welcome. Well, is my first time entering the church all the way from KL. I offered myself to serve the Christmas Eve Mass as an alter server. I was quite disappointed with the alter servers there. Especially the seniors alter servers. Their juniors said they retired and studying in university. What the?? I`m a university student too. They treat Alter Server like a job or a task which is wrong. I believe being alter server is a vocation. Once you`re alter server you are always an alter server. You only retired when you died. Sigh... is Christmas I do not want to be angry. I very happy to serve the Lord. So, somehow I have to lead them in serving the Mass. The Mass was great. Being first time in the church and serving the Christmas Eve Mass. Is like being called by Him. Thanks You Lord for calling me to serve You.

After the mass, we had a fellowship. The theme of the fellowship is "Rejoice!!" We sang Christmas songs. Grace was the emcee. She was cool. =) Good job Grace. I get to know more friends. We had this activity that, we write our wishes on a piece of paper and put it on the Christmas tree. It was a touching moment. The light was off. We lighted our candle. Pat sang When the Child is Born. Some even cried. sigh..... I written my wishes too. I know God had already a plan installed for each one of us. Whatever God planned for us, may His will be done. At 12am a called my family, to wish them Merry Christmas. They were on the way back from mass. Sigh..... miss them so much.. huhu.....

Fellowship theme "REJOICE!!!"

Me and my dear Patrissa

Miss Carol.. and Dale behind us..

peace bro...

Grace....Debra.. and Mr. Marvin..

..haha..

Patrissa and I

Is Christmas!!!! We had another fellowship. Well is more like a very mini mini concert. haha.... Anyway, there were Christmas Songs, choirs singing, musical drama which was very very funny, singing competition and games too. My dear Pat joined singing competition. She sang the a song title Endless Love. Wow.. it was so touching. Someone even cried hear her singing. She got third for the competition. I know she her very best.. hug.. She will always be number one in my heart. =) As for me, I played the game called Joget Stop. LOL... funny name. Well the rule is simple. When the music is played, you DANCE!!! When it stop, you must stop or you`re out. Sigh... I did`t win. But most of my new friends was damn shock to see me dance. hehe... Hip-Hop dancer here... =) Father Jojo was surprise too. We had so much fun. Patrissa and I exchange gift after the fellowship. The gift are........ secret....hm.... I had a great time with the GIFTers and with my dear. hm.... Thank You God for this wonderful time. Without Your Beloved Son..... there is No Christmas...

Carol and Me

Grace the Emcee.. =) Good job..

The next day, Pat brought me sightseeing in UTM. Of course I`m not allow to enter her college. Walk here walk there. hehe... I think UKM bigger. One thing I like about UTM, is that it has many basketball court. Argh..... UKM only got 3 court for the whole uni. lol.... Almost each collage got a basketball court. huhu...

We went shopping in JB City Square. We walked around window shopping. We saw lots of nice stuff and the price also very nice...hehe... I bought a bangle and a dress for her. She really look good in her dress. =) I wish I could go out with her in her dress. Like a dinner or a function. huhu.. One day for sure... =) We watched Alvin and the Chipmucks 2. We laughed a lot. She laughed even more. The Chipmucks were so so so cute. Just want to squeeze them. Hm... then unwanted things happen after the movie...sigh... =(

Is my last day, sigh..... The day, I never wish it to happen but life must move on. Once again we have to be apart to persue our dream in a different path. =( These few days, we built up so much sweet memory together. We shed our tears... sigh.... This memory we built together is my Greatest Gift from The Almighty One given to me. I will pray that I will meet her again in time to come. Thank You Almighty Father for this wonderful Christmas.

Our last picture before I left

Every time we`re together, it bring undescribable Joy.

Every time we`re apart, it bring unbearable Pain

-Myvy-

Mulu Cave... Mulu Resort... Mulu Trip... Mulu Holiday....

2009-12-21T07:36:00.027+08:00

Last holiday, my brother Matthias, my cousin Christopher and I went to Mulu National Park. Kinda lazy to type... hehe.... So, here are some of our picture. Just want to share.

Mulu Airport

Bridge to the Mulu Headquarters

Christopher and I

hehe.... we`re the only boat not using life jacket.. ooppsss..

Matthias enjoying the view

Deer Cave

Me and my bro again....

Random picture.. =)

I`m not suppose to be there... =)

By the way, still in Deer Cave

My Bro in Lang Cave

The most beautiful cave in Mulu...

I wish I have a very good camera.. huhu... =(

Uncle Richard, Christopher and ME... =)

Love the view... the rainbow..

Me again... =) Forgot the name of the hill.

It was very bright... mata sepet... haha..

-Myvy-

Very Disappointed....... Must MOve 0N..

2009-12-17T19:21:00.005+08:00

I just found out my first semester result. I was very disappointed with it. Sigh... Reflecting my time in Semester 1. I noticed that I had been being playful and I took things for granted especially in class. Most of all, I put Him aside in my life as a student. Sigh... All the time I had been dreaming getting first class honour, getting into dean list and getting 4 flat. Putting my expectation so high. But now it was crushed like a huge stone hitting a glass. I had been dreaming too much and not putting much effort making it a reality. Sigh... What an idiot I am. Only live in the world of fantasy. Feel so stupid after knowing my result. Most my seniors said I must score very high mark in first year. sigh... I had failed.

This is Life I guess. I need to thank God with this results. Thank You Lord. I am very sure You had a very good reason to give me this result. You woke me up from my childish fantasy. Make me humble myself. Thank You. I need to learn from my past mistake and stay focus!!! And keep studying!!! And most of all keep praying to Him!!!

This remind me of a quote

"FAILURE IS THE MOTHER OF SUCCESS"

-mYVy-

My Holiday.... hmm...

2009-12-05T11:24:00.014+08:00

Wow... it has been a very very very very damn long time I did not touch my blog. Being lazy I guess. I`m not much a blogger too. Trying to get myself into blogging. LOL... sound like I`m forcing myself. Anyway, to get things up to date. I`m now back in Miri, Sarawak. Love this place so much. Much more peaceful and less hectic compare to KL. Nothing much has change in Miri, only that Parkson in process of upgrade and is bigger. I have not enter the new Parkson yet. huhu... My family undergo some changes, especially my brothers and sisters. Changes in a good way of course. hehe... I still love them so much. =)

My mom and dad very very happy that I am back because they need all the help for the Kenyah Festival here in Miri. This year the Kenyah Festival that organize by Persatuan Kebangsaan Kenyah Sarawak (PKKS) in Dewan Suarah. Help my mom with the program book, help dad carry stuff and some other stuffs. The worst thing that my dad got chicken pox!! WHAT??!! I was quite shock. Now I know that my dad never get chicken pox before. lol... He got it from my baby sister, Mary. Who just recovered from chicken pox. It is not really a good time for my dad got this disease. He is very busy with the school work and the Kenyah Festival. So, I have to assist my dad anyway I can. I help my dad a lot with his school work. hm... I had to go to his school and brought all his "homework" back. After he done it, I had to bring it back to school again. lol.....When I return his "homework" to school, more "homework" coming in. LOL..... My dad sick la oi.... what the??? But, I know my dad. He`s capable to handle this extreme situation. Train from young by my late grandfather. =) I`m like my dad`s office boy. HAHA.... Somehow I enjoyed it. I get to know the teachers in my dad school and I`m much closer to my dad. =) And every time he is always working and working. Now at least he get some rest. It is a blessing in disguise.

Now, back to the festival. As usual, got dance performances, poem-kenyah style a.k.a "lalok", and sape player from Belaga and Kuching came to perform. They were damn good. By the way, I dance for the VIP too. =) I got paid for it. There were competitions such as basketball, badminton, blow pipe. tug of war, arm wresting, ngajat, balan nyanding, bungan lisu and lots more. I joined basketball, ngajat, and balan nyanding competition. Got Bronze for basketball. For the Ngajat Competition, I got fourth. huhu.. Well, I did`t expect much. I`m the youngest among the 16 contestant. All the other contestant are very seniors. huhu... Actually, I already win this competition, not trophy or money. I gained experiences and I learned a lot from the seniors dancer. Picked up some skills from them. I admired them a lot especially dancers from the Kampung. They were good. May be next time I will win the trophy and the money. =) For the Balan Nyanding Competition, I got third place. I am very happy to be in the top three. I won a hamper, a trophy and RM 600 cash!!! Somehow, I am glad not for not getting first. Why?? If you got first, you`re not allow to join the competition again next year. hehe.. I want to join again. hehe.... I want to win more money. hehe.. =)

Now what is Balan Nyanding? It means Warrior. Basically, it is like a beauty contest. You have to have a complete costume of a Kenyah Warrior. The judges will ask you few question. (IQ test). Finally, you have to present yourself to the audience. Must show that you a warrior. While Bungan Lisu(Beauty Pageant). As told by the elders, Bungan Lisu was a very beautiful Kenyah Girl in which on top of that, born with her natural gentalness and good manner. The concept of the competition is the same. hehe..

Anyway, I tried my best. Showing my killing pose and of course I had to smile. I enjoyed it a lot. A great experience for me. =) I did`t do all this thing alone. My parents giving me countless support, my brother-Matthias, my cousin-Christopher, and especially my aunty- Aunty Cecelia. She helped me the most with the costume. Of course not leaving God behind, He is the one who make all this festival a success. Thank You God!!

Basketball Competition

Ngajat Competition ( Bowing to the audience)

Ready to kill =)

Balan Nyanding and Bungan Lisu Competition

Balan Nyanding ( Got THIRD!!)

-Myvy-

Tomorrow D-Day.....

2009-10-25T15:13:00.003+08:00

Today, 25 October 2009. Tomorrow?? 26 October!! D-Day..

My first Final Semester Exam. It seem like yesterday I first enter UKM. Now first Semester almost over. I did`t really commit myself to blogging. Being lazy eh.... hehe... anyway. I`m very worried and also scared facing my exam tomorrow. Did`t really prepared well for my exam. Mostly half-half preparation. This is bad. Sometime i do get mental block during the exam. It really sucks, you know how to do it and you ever did it before and during exam BOOM!!! lost in thin air.....I don`t want that to happen again. Actually, in my life as a student. I never completely prepared for any exam in my student life. From UPSR, PMR, SPM, Matriculation Exam, and my final semester exam. Haiya, this is the effect of discontinous study. Only study last minute. Scolding myself.

I`ll try my best for tomorrow exam. The rest i surrender everything to GOD. I know God will guide me. By His will i pray. Amen

Going to hit my book teruk teruk now..

Be Tough!!

2009-10-08T12:13:00.002+08:00

WHEN LIFE PUT YOU IN TOUGH SITUATION,

DON`T SAY

why me??

JUST SAY

TRY ME!!!

Battle with the Giant....

2009-10-06T22:47:00.004+08:00

Well, first of all is not actually a battle. It is a basketball match-Inter-college Basketball Match. They call in SUKEM here. We entered quarter-final. Win one match and lose one match. I`m glad we`re entered this far. However, I find out that we`re going to meet Zaba College. This college is one of the top ranking basketball team in UKM. Wow.. Indeed they are the giant. They have the proper basic of a basketball player. They got the speed, the height, the body and they are more experienced. Where as for our team alot of lacking here and there. Sigh... What to do.. Most of my team consist of freshman. Most are very very green in a basketball match. We got only 2 seniors.

During the match, most of us panic. Wow..... Some of us even no mood to play. I try to back everyone up. I find that impossible. I`m only one person. I`m not really a good player also. They were a very very big gap of playing between my team and Zaba team. We lost very very badly.

I can see that Zaba team like playing playing with us. sigh... What to do, they conquer the Game what.

Look at the bright side. I know that i gain some experience playing with the giant. Consistent training is important too in sport. Well not only sport. This applied in studies too. hehe....

Which remind me, final exam is around the corner. haha.... I HAVE`T REALLY START STUDYING YET!!!!

Anyway, I accept this defeat openly. Well is expected. Being realistic here. hehe...

But i do learn few things and obtain what money can`t buy. Which is experience...

-myvy- =)

Away from Her...

2009-10-01T18:00:00.008+08:00

The river never stop flowing,
The clock never stop ticking,
Life have to move on,
To persue our dream,
Today, once again,

A part we have to be,
Leads to pain,
Leads to tears,
Leads to suffering,
Like flames ignites within,
Like a sword pierce through my heart,
Again the scars deepen and growing,
Knowing my healer far a part,

For she is my strength,
For she is my weakness,
For she is never perfect one,
But, she complete me,
For her imperfection makes her perfect,
A gift given by God,
For He had fit you in my heart,

Day and Night,
Remembering every moment with her,

Day and Night,
Remembering her sweet smile,

Day and Night,
Remembering her beautiful eyes,

Day and Night,
Remembering her warm touch,

Day and Night,
Remembering her wonderful fragrant,

Day and Night,
Remembering her gentle voice,
Whispering "I LOVE YOU"

Holiday!!!! Can`t wait for ICG!!

2009-09-17T15:46:00.004+08:00

Finally holiday is here. It has been 10 weeks I`m in UKM and I survive. I`m going to Inter Campus Gathering (ICG) in Majodi Center, Plentong, Johor this Saturday. I can`t wait!!! 4 days 3 night camp.All CSS in Peninsular Malaysia will gather there. Yeah can`t wait to meet them. I also will be meeting my very special friend. It has been 5 months we are apart. Have`t seen each other!!I have to say I really miss her so much. But I cannot put my focus on my friends and her. My main reason to go there is to gain knowledge about God in this modern world. Where does God exsist in this fast progressing modern world?? Religion VS the world?? It does catch my attention. I do want to know more about this. The theme for the camp is

O.R.I.A.T

OUR RELIGION AS THE "IN THING"

I can`t really explain the theme yet. Have to go there to find out. I thank God for this camp. A chance for me to deepen my faith and knowing you even more. Thank You!!

Why i call Him when i only need him.... =(

2009-09-12T15:33:00.003+08:00

I just finish my mid term exam. It was very hard. Or may be i just did study enough. I know I did study. I can`t answer all the question. This is very bad. I even got mental block during my exam. For the first time i said our Lord`s prayer while doing my exam. The Our Father. May be i need to change my study technique. I will work that out. My friend here, Cindy. She told me here we have to be independent. What the lecturer teach is not enough. Now i can see why. This only the mid term exam. I wonder how is final look like!! huhu... I need to find a new study method.

When i look back, my life in UKM. I`m in CSS. I go to church. Hm.. But...I have been ignoring GOD. I did`t really say my prayer much compared to last time before I enter U.This is during the exam itself. Sigh.... I listen to worldly songs more compared to Christian Songs. I only prayed when i really need Him. =( I finally prayed while i was answering my question. Sigh...... May be God trying to give I signal. He is waving at me. And He did. He did get my attention. Through my EXAM. During the exam, I look the way i studied. Everything is there. Practice, practice, notes, group studies, pass year questions and doing assignments. The most important thing is missing. Which is PRAYER!!! That was completely lost in my study. sigh... I know God never ignore His people. But I`m the one who ignore Him.
I admit. I forgot about Him. I ignore Him. Why am i like that?? Only in time of need, in time of trouble only i call HIM. Forgive me Lord.

Dear Lord, I thank you Lord for waving at me. I thank you Lord for never leave me. I thank you Lord for forgiving me. Thank you. A special friend of mine share me this wonderful song.

Yes, I Thank You, Lord

Yes, I thank you, Lord, for the trials that come my way;

In that way I can grow each day, as I let You lead.

And I thank You, Lord,

For the patience these trials bring,

In the process of growing, I can learn to care.

But it goes against the way

I am to put my human nature down.

And let the Spirit take control of all I do.

Cause when those trials come,

My human nature shows the things I do,

And God’s soft prompting can be easily ignored.

Yes, I thank You, Lord, for the victory those trials bring,

In surrender of everything, life is so worth while.

And I thank You, Lord, when everything is put in place,

And in front I can see Your face, and it’s there You belong.

Everytime i sang this song, it reflect all things i did in my life. All my sin showed to me. All the time this song lead me to tears. sigh... I thank you Lord for giving me a wonderful friend who share me this songs. She is indeed a very special person to me. Who open my eyes to You. I`m much closer to you, ever since i met her. Thank you Lord.

I need to change!!! Especially my study!! hm... I know GOD you will give me a path. Thank you.
I know Lord I`m your small creation. What i said is not enough. Help me Lord to be Strong.
Thank you.

.............

Bring it on!!!

2009-08-20T17:59:00.009+08:00

This is the 7th week i`m in UKM. Assignment keep coming and coming!!! Wow... I was like bring it on!!! Somehow to today I feel the flame in me. The willingness to study!! Bring it!! hm... I somehow have to change my character. All this while i have been negative with my life here in UKM. Feeling regret and so on. When assignment start coming in. I see the problem and the load pailing up. hm... That`s not should be the way!! I should look at the positive side. I should start finding solution instead of wasting time dealing with the problem and complaining. Get the problem solve. One of my friend told me yesterday.

"You only live once, why always look at the negative side"

Well, that is so true. We should look at the beauty of life. Life is full of challenges. They is always up down. The road of life is never straight. If it is straight, there is something wrong with you. I have to keep reminding myself . So that i will change. Well, it is a process. Sometime I think am I crazy. Talking to myself to motivate myself. Haha.. but somehow is works. hm... I`m expecting more assignment coming and more quizes and test!! Come la!!! Of course i have to do something about it. You think i`m just let it go. haha... Anyway, I try my best to score. Hm.. someone very close to me. He wants me to aim 3.8 and above!!! Thats quite high!! It is a challenge. hm... why not 4.00. haha.. I really wish I could score that high. Well with God`s will I do my best. Of course not until I kill myself.

As the days pass, my course is getting tougher and tougher. I`m only in my first year. Wow...What about second year, third year and my final year!!! Still long way to go!! With God`s grace I can do it. For i know Lord you will give me strength. I know You have a plan for me.

"Commit your work to The Lord, and your plan will established. Proverbs 16:3"

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13"

"Many are the plan in a man heart, but it is the Lord`s purpose that prevail. Proverbs 19:21"

Somehow I felt that God answer my prayer. Ever since i was in secondary school. I have been longing to be an engineer. I pray that i will be a successful engineer. I share my ambition to people I care and I love. Somehow, some of them don`t like my ambition-to be an engineer. Well, what to do. sigh... I do feel sad. When I was in Labuan Matriculation College. I was given physic course. I`m happy with it!! Very happy!! However, because of unforeseen circumtances. I have to change my course to Biology. What to do. I change lo. So my dream to be an engineer is crushed. Well, i know God had a plan for me. I thought God want me to be a doctor or a dentist. So that is what I hope for. But i did`t score well in matriculation. Sad le!!! hm...

My UPU offer was rejected as I wrote in my first post. hm... So I merayu and I got CHEMICAL ENGINEERING IN UKM!! wow... when I looked back. God did`t ignore me. He does listen to me. He does give me what I dream to be. It was my long lost dream. Thank You Lord!!! God had gave me what I want to be last time. Well in Matriculation I manage to deal with my crushing dream and build up a new dream to ba a dentist. LOL..... now I have to deal my crushing dream to be a dentist and build up my dream to be an engineer. God, I wonder what have You install for me. But Dear God, whatever it is. Let Your will be done. I surrender my all to You for You are the one that make the path in life for me.

Again now I`m in UKM studying Chemical Engineering. He provide me this path. If I complain, means I complain to God. That should not happen. This is my long lost dream and He gave it to me. Now I will make my long lost dream come true. I will study very hard and of course study smart. I will be a sucessful engineer. I will keep praying.You always there listening to me. Thanks you Lord!!

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."Matthew 21:22

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

Anyone out there who keep asking something from God and have not receive it yet. DON`T EVER GIVE UP!! KEEP PRAYING!! HE WILL GIVE IT TO YOU AND MIGHT GIVE SOMETHING BETTER TO YOU!! HE HAS A PLAN FOR EVERYONE ON EARTH!! JUST PUT YOUR TRUST IN HIM!!
AND HE WILL GRANT IT ACCORDING TO HIS WILL.

Amen....

Being Busy....

2009-08-11T09:35:00.007+08:00

It has been a long time since i update my blog. I was quite busy this few days. sigh... Not with studies but with some other stuff which i hate to do. Somehow being force. Well, i`m now abuse the used of computer lab in my faculty. Suppose to use the lab for some educational stuff. But yea.. What the heck... hm.. So, this my first post for this month.
I know my purpose here in university.

My purpose in U;

TO STUDY

I know what am I capable to do. I know my strength and my weakness. Not everyone is the same. Some people are damn smart. Just listen during the lecture, they understand already. Some don`t even listen to lecture, but self-study. They understand. I really wish i`m like that. But the fact is, i`m not. I have to work twice as hard or may be triple. Furthermore, I`m a biology student. Studying Chemical Engineering!! Well, ok some of my course mates are bio student too. But i know they are smarter then me. Their pointer way higher then mine. Well fine, uni is a new chapter of life. So i can start over. hm.... I don`t want the history to repeat itself again in Matric. Being too active and involve too much. My pointer in Sem 2 drop like hell!! Now in UKM, I`m somehow being force to get involve. I`m like in the system already. Sigh....I do want to get out from it.. But somehow..... i`ll try to bare with it for one year... I WANT TO STUDY!!! hm... Man this sucks...

Of course is good to get involve. I can build up my soft skill and some other skill. I love to get involve with activities that build my Christian Faith. AT THE BRIGHT SIDE!! I thank GOD that i met some good Catholic friends here in UKM. I love the CSS here. hm... last week i got CADCAM lab which clash with the CSS fellowship. Somehow i wanted to escape the lab class so that going to the fellowship. hehe...but.. i still have to got to class. Thanks to Mark and Mummy Pat i made it to the fellowship. But i was late, i miss the praise and worship. =( huhu... The fellowship was fun. Even though not many people come. Not like in Matriculation Labuan. But, i feel like home there and close to God. A family in UKM. Looking forward for the next fellowship. Yeah...

I think that is all.
Have to study now.

First night out.... Kom night!!

2009-07-27T00:19:00.004+08:00

Hey, i just came back from Kom Night. 3 words.. It was FUN!!! It`s also known as freshies night. Is mainly for chinese student. In black and white i`m not a chinese, i`m a Kenyah. But my mom is a Chinese. So, i`m still consider a chinese. haha... However, i can`t really speak chinese well. I`m very grateful with the chinese student here. They still accept me eventhough i can`t speak chinese well. Hehe.. Hm... that night we have to perform for the seniors. hm.. Our group performing a drama. The Phantom of Opera. So before this night. Almost every night we had our tiring practice. I do complaint, it takes too much time. How about my study?? Well, like i said,

WELCOME TO UNI LIFE!!

I was thinking, what is this for?? It take too much our valuble time. I come here to study. Furthermore, this things does not add up in our KG points. Well i try to be positive. There is a very good reason for all this. Which is making new friends. And bring us together to strengthen our bond. Friends are one of the most important things in life. When we far away from home. Away from parents, the one who help, guide and support you are friends. Friends are one of God`s gift. I`m sure there is good friends and some bad friends. So we have to be always be careful when choosing you friends. hm...

Proverbs 18:24

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Anyway, back to the Kom Night. I did`t know the drama was a competition. So i kinda did`t put much effort during the practice. So bad o me. We got third place.........out of three. So....is last place. However. i know we are already a winner. The prize that we won is priceless. The prize that we all won is the value of friendship. I really make alots of friends through this activity. i know our bond is getting stronger. hehe.. My part in the drama is not that big. Since i can`t speak in chinese. so yea.... i just dance. A ballroom dance. It was fun and slow. hehe.. At least i contribute something la. hm.. Our Seniors organize alot of programme for us. There was Cat-Walk and my favorite freestyle dance. Well, is like clubbing. Hehe... I went SOLO..Well, my friend push me.. haha... Love to POP man.. Good to release stress. hihi.. There was also couple dance. hm... I WISH SHE WAS HERE WITH ME... But, yea i do dance with other girls kinda feel bad though... MISSING HER...

Hm... Overall, it was enjoyable. So, this is a life style of a uni. And it is onlyt a begining. Of course, not forgeting my studies.

So damn tired.. Dance too much already. hehe... Next will be Course Night and followed by Faculty Night. i Hope it does not take much of my time.

I WANT TO STUDY!!!

dON3....

A New Begining....

2009-07-17T21:32:00.015+08:00

It has been a while since i update my blog. I`m now in Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia(UKM). Studying Chemical Engineering. Alot of people say, it has a very good prospect. Well, it is very true. For some reason i don`t feel happy when i got the offer. For certain reason la... Sigh... Well, what to do, i just accept it. Life have to move on.
At least i got a chance to enter uni compared to the other people who don`t have this chance.
hm.. i should thank God for this offer. I just have surrender everything to Him. I`m sure He has a plan and a very good reason for me to come here. May Your Will be Done..

How`s UKM??

hm... My room is nice and simple. Of course much better then my previous college. By the way, i`m staying in Kolej Burhanuddin Helmi. At the top floor. Quite a nice college. English Speaking Zone college... Yea.. right... hehe.. for certain time only. Everyone here still prefer BM.

I`m facing a great deal of culture shock now. The culture here very different from the place i come from. SARAWAK!!! hehe..
Of course i was a complete stranger here.. Not many friends. So i have to keep fishing for friends.. hehe.. I`m sure in time to come i would be able to manage it.

The students here seem like so so free one.. Almost every night got activity at my college. Got drama practice, dance practice and meeting. Until 3 am!! Sometime the whole night. Seem there is no different between night and day here. Wow... How about study?? Don`t they care about their studies?? Mostly are seniors la.. I`m sure they are well adept to this life.

Somehow, i have a lot of things missing here. Espcially someone who i miss alot. Of course i miss my family back home in Miri. I hope this coming holiday a able to go back to meet my parents. My brothers and sisters. hehe.. I think my little sister won`t recognize me when i come back later. hehe...

Anyway, this is life.In time to come i have to split with my parents and make my own path. In the process of splitting now. HAHA... of course i still love them. I really thank God for giving me parents that is very caring and supportive. Always there to guide me. Always there to lead me.

Thanks Mummy and Daddy...

Wa.. so childish le...

I think i end my post now

Thanks for reading!!!

I miss her....

2009-07-06T15:38:00.016+08:00

A new chapter had open,
A new life, a new path,
Where we grow, facing it under the sun and rain,
Strength is what we need to move on,
God is the Provider,
God is the Planner,
However apart we have to grow,
To achieve our dream,

Sweet Heart,
As the river flow, as the clock ticks,
The scars within my Heart begin to grow deeper,
Like a dagger pierce through it,
The pain cannot describe by words,
One must feel to understand,

Patiently waiting for my healer,
Meeting her will always be a challenge,
Leads to blood and tears,
The path I`m willing to go through,

She`s the only one can cover my scar,
She`s the only one can make my heart whole again,
Losing her is like i`m losing myself,
The reason to live will fade away,

I will hold my Red Rose, and never will I let it go,
The Rose that I plant within my Heart,
With God`s will, may it grow within my Heart,
Forever being with her,
Forever caring for her,
Forever saying "I LOVE YOU"

I`m free!! For now...

2009-07-05T08:05:00.011+08:00

Yesterday i was reading about the catholic faith in the web. At http://www.catholicbible101.com.

i noticed that my knowledge about the church is very very shallow. What i learned in Sunday School last time is just a drop of water compared to the wide deep ocean. The topic that caught my eye is the Power of the Mass. Kinda feel bad, because last week i did`t go mass. FYI, skipping mass is consider a Mortal Sin (Deadly Sin) The Holy Mass is the highest level of worshiping the Lord. The first Holy Mass is celebrate by Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself during the LAST SUPPER. That is the first Holy Mass on Earth!!!

According to John Paul IV,
"The Mass is the most perfect form of Prayer!"

Later i want to go mass. But sadly i cannot receive the Holy Communion with this Mortal Sin. Not only that... There many other things...I need spiritual help... There always Spiritual Warfare inside me. It has been 5 month since my last Confession. I had done numerous sin that GOD HATE SO MUCH. I have been nailing our Lord Jesus Christ on the cross everyday with my sin. My body is full of sinful stain. I need to be clean before receiving the Body Of Christ. I want to go for confession on that day. I need to prepare myself before receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I examine my conscience. Reflecting back all the sin i had done. I ask the Holy Spirit to guide me. Indeed the Holy Spirit did show me all the sin i did. I was very very sad. I cried when i look back all my sin. I try to fight it... I CAN`T !!! I CAN`T HELP IT SEEING THE KING OF KINGS NAIL ON THE CROSS BECAUSE OF ME. THAT IS MY CROSS!! BUT HE TOOK IT FOR ME.... OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST TOOK MY CROSS..... FORGIVE ME LORD JESUS...

I decided to go to church early to prepare myself hoping i can go for a confession. The name of the church is Church of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I went 1 hour earlier. Not many people there... which is good. So i can focus much better. I went to the Father`s House. Father was not there. Sigh..... Then i said to myself. hm.... next time la... May be next week... I enter the church and sat somewhere in the middle. I was very early. I only can see 3 to 4 people there praying. I was a complete stranger there. I kneeled and start praying. I looked at the Crucifix on the wall. I FEEL SO MUCH WEIGHT!!! . I cried when i look at it. I don`t dare look at it... sigh... i said to myself I MUST GO FOR CONFESSION TODAY!!I WANT TO BE FREE!! NO MORE DELAY!! THAT`S WHAT THE SATAN WANT YOU TO DO!!! TO STAY AWAY FROM GOD... SIN MAKES OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD BROKEN... SATAN WANT OUR BODY TO BE FULL OF SIN.... HOWEVER, SATAN YOU LOST.

Once again, i went to Father`s House. Hoping to see father there. PRAISE THE LORD!!! Father was there!! His name is Rev Father Maiccal Sinnappan. He is the Parish Priest. He is a nice person. I request a confession from him. YES!! He ask me to come in and sit beside him. My first confessin in Kedah. Haha... There`s where my confession begin. I`m not telling my sin.
hm...

After i finish my confession. He gave me penances. I can still feel the weight. =(. sigh.. I went to the church and kneeled and say my penances. After that, I thank God for the confession.
Then i looked up at the Crucifix. The weight was gone!!! I was so happy. Praise the Lord!!!

I follow the Mass with full intention and worshiping HIM with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind and with all my might. Praise the LORD!!!

I keep reminding myself. It is not over yet. Satan in always there to deceives us away from GOD.
Satan hates GOD. Satan hates people praise and worship GOD. Satan want us to sin. Satan knows 1001 ways to mislead the people of GOD and make them sin by using our human nature.

I have to be strong in FAITH and always practice my FAITH.
Dear Lord Jesus give me Strength to fight Satan.

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7

Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for (someone) to devour. Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings.
1 Peter 5:8-9

Prayers against Every Evil

Spirit of our God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Most Holy Trinity, Immaculate Virgin Mary, angels, archangels, and saints of heaven, descend upon me. Please purify me, Lord, mold me, fill me with yourself, and use me. Banish all the forces of evil from me, destroy them, vanquish them, so that I can be healthy and do good deeds. Banish from me all spells, witchcraft, black magic, malefice, ties, maledictions, and the evil eye; diabolic infestations, oppressions, possessions; all that is evil and sinful, jealousy, perfidy, envy; physical, psychological, moral, spiritual, diabolical ailments. Burn all these evils in hell, that they may never again touch me or any other creature in the entire world. I command and bid all the powers who molest me by the power of God all powerful, in the name of Jesus Christ our Savior, through the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary to leave me forever, and to be consigned into the everlasting hell, where they will be bound by Saint Michael the archangel, Saint Gabriel, Saint Raphael, our guardian angels, and where they will be crushed under the heel of the Immaculate Virgin Mary. Amen

Thanks be to God!!

ARE YOU REALLY A CATHOLIC???

2009-07-04T13:15:00.001+08:00

An article i want to share......

The Church is not out of step with society; society is out of step with the Church.

CHESAPEAKE, Va. (Catholic Online) - “Today more than ever, our nation is in need of Catholics who know their faith deeply and express their faith, with integrity, by their daily living.” Archbishop Raymond Burke

After reading His Excellency’s outstanding address at the National Catholic Prayer Breakfast and studying the current state of affairs in our nation, I’m prompted to ask a personal question:

Are you really Catholic?

Are you Catholic because your parents were Catholic, because their parents were Catholic because their parents were Catholic? Is it your culture or your faith? Is it your present choice or your history? Is it your conviction or a “hat” you put on for baptisms, weddings and funerals?

The evidence clearly shows that too many “Catholics” in America are Catholic for reasons other than a conviction of faith. And that’s just not going to cut it any longer. Our culture and our country are flying at warp speed into a black hole of godlessness, and I am increasingly flabbergasted at the sheer number of Catholics who are helping to fuel the descent.

Shamefully, the fact is that Catholics are largely responsible for electing our current government. That means that the majority of Catholics in America either don’t truly know their faith and what it means, or they don’t care, or they lack the courage to make their choices in properly informed by their faith.

It’s pathetic that so many who say they belong to Christ are so easily beguiled and deceived.The sacrifice of the Cross must not mean very much to many of us because we’re willing to sell it real cheap in exchange for the good opinion of those who would silence Christ. Precious Blood was spilled for our sins. Today our leaders and our culture want to wash away Its saving stain, and the majority of Catholics are quietly watching them mop… even handing them a bucket.

It’s not enough to be culturally Catholic, a holiday Catholic, or Catholic by ancestry. It is certainly not good enough to profess a Catholic faith in church, and then deny it by our life’s choices. Hear these words from our faithful Archbishop:

“In a culture which embraces an agenda of death, Catholics and Catholic institutions are necessarily counter-cultural. If we as individuals or our Catholic institutions are not willing to accept the burdens and the suffering necessarily involved in calling our culture to reform, then we are not worthy of the name Catholic.”

It is our Christian duty to call our culture to reform. We’re not supposed to blend in and “adapt” our faith to the changing times! We’re supposed to be showing our lost culture the way of true and lasting peace, which can only be found in Christ. It is our responsibility to be firm in defense of the natural and moral law even when it makes us unpopular or hated. If we’re not willing to do that are we worthy to be called Catholic?

Our Church is far from perfect. There will always be mistakes, even travesties that we will weep over and work to correct with God’s grace. As long as people are flawed, there will always be problems to overcome. But Jesus has promised us that even the gates of hell will not prevail against us. He has given us His body for food and we have the Holy Spirit to guide us and our Blessed Mother to aid and comfort us. We have everything we need, if we will only be true to Christ instead of this world.

You are free to decide where and with whom you stand. You do not, however, have the right to try to change the Catholic Church to suit your opinions or wishes. No matter how brilliant you are, you are not above the Magisterium. No matter how persuasive the political position, you cannot ignore the law of the Church and the Natural Law. Doctrine and Orthodoxy may be distasteful words in this age of personal freedoms, but if you call yourself Catholic, you need to know what Catholic doctrine actually says and follow it. All of it – not just this or that particular idea that suits your preferences. The Church is not a cafeteria. You are not free to take some things and leave others.

If you are pro-abortion (also dishonestly known as “pro-choice”), you are not a faithful Catholic. It is never okay to kill an unborn human being. There simply is no way to reconcile support for abortion with authentic Catholic teaching which is based upon the simple foundation of true human rights beginning with the Right to Life.

If you are in favor of gay “marriage”, you are not a faithful Catholic. The defense of marriage between one man and one woman is not about denying anyone equality. Marriage is not a right that every person is equally “entitled” to the same as free speech. The union of man and woman is the only solid foundation on which to build a family, as God so wisely ordained from the very beginning. The family is the first cell of the Church and the first society.

If you support (that means vote for) politicians who advocate and legislate for laws and policies that violate the moral teachings of the Catholic Church, you are choosing to conform to this world rather than be transformed by Christ, and that’s very dangerous for all of us. To whom does your heart belong? It’s time to wipe out the notion that it’s okay for a Catholic to believe one thing in private and support the opposite in public, a la Biden, Pelosi, Kerry, Sebelius, etc. It is not okay. It is in fact, a mockery of our faith and a pathetic lie.

Either live as a Catholic Christian or don’t, but stop trying to remodel the Church to make it more appealing to the world. Learn your Catholic faith, understand it correctly and LIVE IT out in public without apologizing. Stop compromising the truth. Quit trying to rewrite Church teaching to bring it “up to speed” with modern times. The Church is not out of step with society; society is out of step with the Church. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and thus His Church is timeless, ageless and always perfectly relevant. It is not the Church who needs to change her thinking; it is society that needs to CORRECT its thinking.

Abortion is evil today because it’s always been evil and always will be. Gay “marriage’ is wrong today because it’s always been wrong and always will be. What is true and right and holy and sacred and pleasing to God never changes, no matter how the world may change.

The Catholic Church in America is in crisis, for sure, because too many people wearing that name are not living the true faith. That fact was on display this weekend at Notre Dame for the entire world to see. A Catholic University bestowed a law degree and honor upon a President who is fiercely determined to make it as easy as possible to kill babies all over the world. And today one more poll shows that still a majority of American Catholics don’t think it’s a problem. In my estimation, that means that a majority of American Catholics are simply not being faithful Catholics.

President Obama knows this quite well, and he’s only too happy to use our crisis of faith to his advantage. Are you okay with that? It is time to choose. Are you really Catholic?

My first POST!!!

2009-07-02T13:18:00.000+08:00

Hey, i have been reading everyone blog. Just to fill my time. Some are very nice. Some i don`t really understand...hehe... too deep eh... Hm... got nice pic and some stuff.

So i thought of starting my own blog too. And this is my first post. I`m very green in using Blogger.
Still exploring how to use it.. hm... anyone mind giving me some tips??? hehe..

Anyway, just to keep things up to date. I`m in Kulim, Kedah now. Why??? Not because of studies. I have to help my uncle to take care of my grandfather. He got stroke. I`m quite sad when i look at him. sigh... His right side of the body is not functioning well. My first look at his condition on that day, it gave me a very deep impact. I almost cry when looked at him. Furthermore,I`m his first grandson. I try my best not to cry.. fuh... i did it..
He can`t do all the basic thing thats important in life- walking, talking, eating, and holding stuffs. How he eat?? He`s under tube. Through his nose into his stomach. Everyday i help him exercise to gain his ability back. But is not easy. I have to be patient.. hm...

Somehow back in Miri, i was quite hot tamper person espcially to my brothers and sisters and my parents too. I get angry easily. Well i did ask God to help me with my temper. To cool it down. So that i will be very very patient. May be, this is God`s plan. He sent me here to Kulim to take care of my grandfather. And it works.. Praise the Lord!!!

After about 2 week, my grandfather improve. He can walk and he can eat own by himself.
The TUBE ARE GONE!!! hehe... but still i have to train him... He is a bit shaky la.

At the same time, I`m also waiting for my UPU result out. My offer to university on 19 Jun.
sigh... you know what this is my result!!

Dukacita dimaklumkan bahawa anda TIDAK BERJAYA
dalam permohonan kemasukan ke IPTA Program Pengajian Lepasan STPM/Setaraf bagi Sesi Akademik 2009/2010.

Wow!!! i`m not accepted to any university. Damn....
sigh...
I was stun.... I write an appeal to upu. I`m tired of waiting!!! I want to study already.
all my friend know where are they going. NOT ME!! =( hm...
My appeal result out on 10 of July 2009. I have to wait again.
hm... i also went to KL to Uitm to appeal. I met the Dean, Faculty of Dentistry.
Professor Dr Mohamed Ibrahim Abu Hassan
I appeal straight to him. hm...
Oh Please God Help me...

When i went back to Kulim. My grandfather admitted to hospital again. =( He got another stroke
sigh.... he can`t walk again... but he still can eat la... Praise the Lord
I gave him a lot of exercise. But he get tired easily this time...
hm... Please pray for my grandfather. Lord Jesus heal him.

That`s all for my first post.
Thanks for reading.
Peace...